How do I deal with insubordination?

[AmateurBusinessman]

In the past I've been responsible for managing subordinates, and had a difficult time doing so due to my race and age in my opinion --i'm in my 20's and African American, and was that way during that time. My decisions were met with questioning, opposition, and dismissals when choosing how I wanted subordinates to function/operate constantly. I experienced being mistaken within the workplace for service employees like a delivery guy, doorman, assistant, security guard, and lower level employees of another sort, and denial when complaints were made about my unique difficulties and struggles within the workplace.

These experiences have been embarrassing to say the least, and I want to know what I should do if they are to arise in the future. I aspire to own a business one day, and management skills is a must to have for any employer from what I can see.

Any advice? How should I handle difficult employees? How should I handle being "out of control" as a business owner/authority figure? How do I correct the behavior of difficult employees? Insubordination? Have you ever experienced anything like the above mentioned? What did you do? Did you fix it? How, if so?

[Rob Malone]

First it probably has nothing to do with your age or race. If people are being insubordinate it is because they have no respect for you and not because you are young or AA. It is the way you act and deal with them. The next issue is that if you have insubordinate employees you have C players. Read Brad Smart's book "Top Grading". A players are not insubordinate - if they don't like the organization or leader then they just leave and go where they can perform and be appreciated.

Additionally the fact that you said it was because you are young and AA leads me to believe you have a "Fixed Mindset" this is will hold you back and make it very difficult to get the respect of your co-workers/employees. Read Dr. Carol Dweck's book "The Growth Mindset" I think that will be very helpful.

I am old and white I get mistaken for the janitor, waiter, shop clerk, etc. It is not a race issue it is people making honest mistake issues.

[Freelancier]

Leaders lead. People who recognize the leadership abilities in someone will follow their lead.

Have you ever watched a restaurant manager get mistaken by customers for one of the hired help? What do they do in that situation? If they want to impress on the customer they are a leader, they will call a busboy over to handle the issue while they stand there apologizing to the customer and making sure everything else is ok. If they want to impress on the customer that customer service comes before roles, then they clean it up themselves while apologizing to the customer and making sure everything else is ok.

Sounds to me like you're more stuck spending more time worrying about your role than you are spending time exerting any actual leadership skills. It might indeed have something to do with your age as you might not have been on earth long enough to develop the personality needed to lead people or to observe enough leaders to figure out why people want to follow them. Could be a lot of things, but it all comes back to: it's you.

Leaders lead.

[Harold Mansfield]

First it probably has nothing to do with your age or race. If people are being insubordinate it is because they have no respect for you and not because you are young or AA.

It's outrageous to make that determination and discount his concerns from the outside looking in.

When you're on the receiving end of bigotry, misogyny, or any other like behavior..you know it. It's not paranoia, or fantasy. There is no question about it. They make sure you know it. No one else will see it because it's not directed at them and they don't want to see it.

No one makes this claim lightly for the sole reason of the way you just responded. And that's why it continues.

I'm not saying that I know for sure that's what is happening. What I am saying is it's hard enough to admit that you're being treated this way because it's humiliating. It's even worse when people who have no clue continue to tell you it's your imagination or the problem is you, and not the people who say and do the sneaky little underhanded things that let you know that they think you're beneath them.

I don't want to turn this into a race argument, but telling someone that it's their imagination ( because it couldn't possibly be true) or their "fixed mindset" is infuriating especially when you don't one thing about the OP.

I'll bet you wouldn't tell your wife or daughter that misogyny at work was all their fault or in their heads.

My advice is still the same. People are assholes. Don't let that stop you from doing what you need to do. If they are insubordinate and not following orders, fire their asses. I don't care what their reason is for being jerks. The job is the job. You either do it and learn to get along with people like most other human beings, or clean out your locker. I'll have security escort you out.

I've worked with and around all kinds of people who had problems taking orders from Women, Serving black people at restaurants, taking orders from anyone who isn't black, hated Jews, hated tourists ( how do you work in Vegas and hate tourists?), and so on and so on. I've fired a couple of bigots over the years. Not because they were bigots, but because it prevented them from doing the job. I personally don't care who you hate on your own time and you certainly don't have to like me. But at work you're on my time. When you start projecting that BS to customers or other employees you have to go.

Granted, my attitude comes with age. At 47 people like this don't bother me anymore. I know how to get rid of them, I'm full of biting, snappy comebacks and sarcasm that they usually goes over their heads, and know when to pick my battles and how to win them. Most times they aren't worth spending 5 minutes on.

However, in my 20's my feelings were hurt, I didn't know how to handle it without a 2x4, and I was outraged at the level of disrespect.

Side step those people and don't take it personally. There's always going to be someone who doesn't like you. Step right over them and leave them behind to wallow in their misery and keep on truckin'.

I guarantee you this, you will always rise higher than they do in this day and age because their ladder stops at the last white (or whatever) person. The minute they hit a wrung that has someone who isn't exactly like them on it, they're done. Crippled. Can't move any further and they will make it that person's fault just for merely existing.

And before anyone says it, I know plenty of black people who are like this too. Can't get along with anyone who isn't black. So I'm not picking on anyone. Just stating my experiences. You can't stop ignorance or change people. It's part of life and it's still alive in little pockets of the old school the corporate world. And it's not just you. Women get it (worse than all of us), Middle aged and older people get it, Jews, Hispanics, Fat people...there's always some self entitled arrogant *sshole that has a problem with some other kind of person and thinks they're so cleaver that no one else can see it.

Just walk around it and keep doing your thing. Don't waste time trying to understand why or change them. Just keep it business, not personal, keep it moving and fire at will.

But any instance of straight out disrespect, name calling, and just outright refusal to do the work has to be met with swift action. You cannot let an employee run all over you. You'll never have the respect of the others and it'll probably cost you your management position. Just keep it business. Let your boss know they made the right decision and you posses the mentality and maturity to deal with it professionally.

If a racist at work is enough to rattle you, you'll have a hard time climbing the corporate ladder or being successful in business. And life.

[Davidl]

It may have something to do with race. If you ever confronted someone about their passive aggressive racism they act like your talking about bigfoot... I no longer have any emotional investment in those situations, I bring up what they are doing just to let them know theres a potential discipline if it goes further. In a business situation its a different course of action, but similar.

There are people that will try to get away with messing with people if they know they wont get caught or disciplined. Next time something like that happens, talk to him privately and without any anger let him know what the path will be if he continues, whether that is a firing or whatever. His attitude doesnt help the company and can negatively effect it.

Im not a manager but in my personal experience dealing with people that would be the course of action I would go with. Your not there to be their friends your there to make sure the company runs well. In a perfect world it would be amazing if this doesnt happen, but if no implied discipline and eventual discipline is known then people will try to take advantage, mostly not even consciously.

[GoldenGateTradingPost]

It depends on what type of manager you want to be.

In my opinion, it's most desirable to make decisions that are well thought out, so that you can immediately defend them if they're questioned. Immediate is essential, you have to show you thought it through before making the decision. Over time, both subordinates and superiors will recognize that your decisions are thorough and fully thought through, and they'll stop attacking your decisions because they won't like looking foolish for not having an answer to your valid points. Then you'll have their respect.

Alternatively, you could be a command and control manager. You make decisions, you don't explain them, if anyone questions them you tell them because that's your decision, nothing more. You'll never get their respect, they'll never like you, they'll always feel you're the boss because you were appointed to management, not because you're well qualified, but as long as your decisions are good you'll be fine. I don't think this is a good choice, but people do it successfully.

Of course, either way, if anyone refuses to follow instructions, or is openly hostile, you need to fire them.

As far as being mistaken for a lower level employee (and I assume you mean they're doing this intentionally, not truly making a mistake), there will always be a**holes. Be a professional, do your job impeccably, and don't let them get under your skin, because then you've let them win. Don't let a**holes cause you to self destruct.

[nightowl]

My decisions were met with questioning, opposition, and dismissals when choosing how I wanted subordinates to function/operate constantly.

No matter what you do there will always be some questioning/opposition - its part of the job. As a business person, especially, your job is to help clarify questions or pacify the person on the other side of the desk.

Without knowing specifics of the situation, have you considered that the problem might be you (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Locus_of_control)?



I experienced being mistaken within the workplace for service employees like a delivery guy, doorman, assistant, security guard, and lower level employees of another sort, and denial when complaints were made about my unique difficulties and struggles within the workplace.


Probably time to dress better, and/or improve the way you carry yourself.



Any advice? How should I handle difficult employees? How should I handle being "out of control" as a business owner/authority figure? How do I correct the behavior of difficult employees? Insubordination? Have you ever experienced anything like the above mentioned? What did you do? Did you fix it? How, if so?

The best way to approach insubordination is to take a direct approach, immediately when it happens. If it continues, and warning are ignored, there is no other option but to let the person go.

[billbenson]

I'll make a couple of comments. First on Harolds race comments. My wife and I are a mixed couple. I'm a white guy married to a Latina girl who is 20 years younger than I am. If you live in an open society like much of California or South Florida you have pretty much zero problems. I now live in a grown up farm town in Central Florida. You can feel holes getting bored in your back, just like mentally handicapped people must feel or racial discrimination. You know it, and I understand exactly what Harold is saying.

Attitude can handle a lot of this. I teach at times women s self defense classes. We teach them never to look down, act afraid, or timid. I've turned around at someone who is looking at us and walk towards them in an assertive manner and looked them dead in the eye. They quickly look away every time.

I'm wondering if you aren't being assertive enough with some of these employees.

Lastly, to manage someone, you should be an expert in your product. That brings respect and you can command that respect.