Thanking a friend/business associate

[Blessed]

Recently my Grandmother passed away - it was at the tail end of a very busy work season for me, during an event in Oklahoma where I answer phone calls and emails for my client. I have a friend who is also a business associate that jumped in and helped me out - we actually met through this event, I originally started out simply doing graphic design and she does the publicity - press releases, scheduling the media to come out and cover the event, etc... we ended up working together quite a bit and have become friends.

Anyway my publicist friend called me to ask a question about another event we were both working on and in the conversation it came up that I was having to drive to Ohio for a funeral, and would be on the road for two 15 hour days and mostly unavailable for one other day. My publicist friend knew that I was answering emails for the Oklahoma Event and since we have both worked extensively with this client and are both considered her friends as well offered to help out by answering the emails she could while we were on the road. My client said that was fine and my publicist friend was able to handle about half the emails - I took care of the rest of them while we were away. My client compensated me the same as she would have if I had not had to go away for that weekend.

So now I want to send my publicist friend a thank you note and a gift card to the local coffee shop - is that sufficient, should I do more? What do you guys think?

[greenoak]

i would probably do a phone call too..and then the gift card..... that was a really nice thought and effort on her part....
. ann......

[Spider]

I am always afraid that a gift in this situation would appear to my friend (the recipient) as being too small for what they did, thereby undervaluing their help. Is a coffee and a bun sufficient? I don't know. In this case. theyn appear to have done half the work - how about giving her half your pay for the period they helped.

It's not really the value of the gift, it's the appreciation that matters. But getting the value of the gift wrong sends the wrong message regarding their help. If there is no relationship between the gift and the help (coffee-work) then values can get distorted, but relating one with the other - you shared the work so share the pay - is mechanical and logical.

[Patrysha]

It's not really the value of the gift, it's the appreciation that matters. But getting the value of the gift wrong sends the wrong message regarding their help.

I disagree and maybe it's a boy/girl thing or it could be personality type. The help that is being rewarded/appreciated was a gift in itself, and all that is required is an acknowledgement and appreciation. It should be a token, a representation, but not a full blow payment for the act of service. It doesn't have to equal the value of the original gift and, in fact, could be a bit of an insult to get a gift equivalent to half the work of the weekend...it says "I could afford it and really didn't need you to jump in and help out."

I'd probably go with a coffee card and flowers.

[Steve B]

I'm with Spider - I don't think this is a "gift" situation. It's more of a sub-contractor situation. Figure out how much to pay her based on the percentage of the work performed. Then give her a gift on top of that to thank her for doing it on such short notice.

[Blessed]

Spider and Steve (and everyone else...) - I need to clarify - she answered about half the emails for that weekend. As for the amount of work that equaled in relation to the amount of work I was paid for - which was an entire month of answering questions, etc... it was a drop in the bucket. i.e. I answered over 500 emails and took at least 100 calls - she answered maybe 30-50 emails. The event itself lasts for 7 days - I begin answering emails etc... about 3 weeks prior to the event and continue until a week after the event. I take calls for about 10 days - a day before the event starts and up until a couple of days afterwards. I was paid for an entire 5 weeks worth of work without any deduction for not really being available that weekend and clients having to wait up to a full day to get an answer to their questions. My publicist friend helped with the general questions but there were several that required research she couldn't do that I answered at 3 in the morning when we finally arrived in Ohio after driving all day, and again at midnightish when we got home and then in between visiting with family and friends while we were gone.

Thanks! I appreciate your feedback. I have already given her a verbal "thank you" and simply want to do something a bit more tangible as well - definitely a card, as for a gift certificate - that's what I'm still trying to decide.

[Steve B]

If she spent 5 minutes on each e-mail - that's a bit over 4 hours of work. I'd give her at least $20 per hour for that. If it were me, I'd give give her a check for $100 and a nice thank you note. If you don't think paying her is appropriate (and she might be offended if she wanted to do it as a favor) then I'd give her a gift valued at at least $80. That might be a nice dinner for two at a decent rest.

[greenoak]

i would think it was a friend thing not an hour thing...
what spider said was what i iwas trying to say...but i see you already had thanked her...
ann